Of course I did search in fits and starts.  Life got in the way and husbands and babies came along and the days were full of practical things.  i also found that individuals almost “invented” their own beliefs and explanations.  No one seemed to have a proper answer that satisfied me. the answers felt hallow and vague.

Now at last I was getting to the truth.  some of the things I read were not easy to believe and put into action. I was getting them straight from the source – the bible. Phew! I was enjoying the challenge and was very quickly implementing what I was learning.  the Bible spoke about almost everything and I was making changes very fast.  Firstly my heart changed, then my lifestyle and attitude.  it was a bumpy ride and not popular with everyone around me, but I did not pay too much notice to that, I was happy and enjoying God and the revelations that I was getting.

No more gossip – oops that was not easy. Of course I did not gossip to everyone, only to my sisters, well that had to stop. If you speak ill of your neighbor then you don’t love them. No foolish spending, the money belongs to God.  And so the training began.  the beginning is just that, the beginning.  It was a long road ahead.

I wonder if I would have even embarked on the journey if I knew where it would take me?

How I loved and fed off this idea of myself.  I loved business and enjoyed the challenge of being involved in the bigger picture of life.  I never knew that I could do business!  Shows you that you do not know what is inside you until certain buttons are pressed and you are exposed to it.

My husband Len and I bought our first business by selling our first home.  We had only lived there for about 3 years and the sale realized the money we needed to buy our first business.  Our three children were still small and the eldest two in primary school. I had promised myself that I would be a “happy housewife” until the youngest, a daughter, went off to Grade 1.  I always knew I would “do something”, but of course never knew what.

I was able to be a stay at home Mom without feeling that I was missing anything because I had a plan for the future. I loved being at home with my small children even though one of my sisters referred to me as the “Hazelwood cabbage”, the suburb we lived in at the time.

My mother visited often and would come by on a Friday afternoon for her weekly hairdo and visit with her grandchildren.  They loved my mother as she was a true eccentric and had fabulous tales of Ireland to share with them.  My mother-in-law would also visit with a box of vegetables, a block of butter, and of all things, shelled peas.  Life was slow, but I was happy and settled into a rhythm that was manageable.

HOW THE BUSINESS WOMAN EMERGED!

When our youngest child started in Grade 1 – this was my chance to look around for a small business.  I had some money that I had saved as I am a bit of a squirrel with an extra money that I find or save.  This money for the business was actually found – yes – found in my husbands trousers pockets!!

It was seemingly a good thing that I was not followed up, as I began to do my own searching. I have always been one of those people who seem to “slip through the cracks”.  I knew something had changed inside me and that was good enough for me.  It was a long journey of many changes. Some painful and others quite easy.

I left my “traditional church” and started to frequent the “happy clappy” group.  this scared my immediate family and they all pretended that nothing was going on. so I was never able to speak to anyone in my family about what was happening inside me and how much I was learning and enjoying the new me that was emerging.

I just went on sundays to my new “Happy clappy” church and went home again to ponder on what I heard.  I was all totally new to me.  I was not yet comfortable talking to  people I did not know, so I never made any friends at that time.  Many changes took place over the years and the shyness I had lived with for so many years began to disapate.

I started a serious Bible reading program on my own that I learned a lot from.  God started to make many things clear to me and the principals and standards of behavior he required from His followers.

I may seem as though I did have a choice, but I did not really have a choice. When God calls us to follow Him and take up our ministries, we all have an inner urge to obey.  Without any insight into what lies ahead in our journey with God, we accept the call and even ask to be sent. Like Isaiah we declare “Here I am Lord, send me!” (Is 6:8b)
We are then shot out of the bow like a heated flaming arrow.  All zeal and enthusiasm.  This is an absorbing and controlling possession of the mind by any interest or pursuit.  Our pursuit is to preach and teach the Gospel, the Good News that Jesus has come into our lives and made all things new. I was invited to a morning tea at a hotel in Pretoria.  As the morning (sort of) belonged to me and I had free time, off I went with my mother.  My mother always said yes to any invitation to go out and she was always good company – we did a lot of things together.  We had a wonderful morning, testimonies by famous TV starts and free tea and scones.  At the end of the meeting the Senior Pastor from a local church asked if anyone wanted to give their heart to Jesus. I had never heard this ever before, so I put my hand up and so did my mother.  He then asked us to leave the meeting with some councillors and they prayed for us to become Born Again.  My life changed radically from that moment – I felt as though I had finally reached a home in my heart.